Why I keep being angry of all the things that are surrounding me? I’m satisfied with myself, with my situation.

But, not satisfied with the people around me, they’re all just the same.

We’re now in Ramadan that holy month, that spiritual month, which you can really feel things, hardly able to be felt. You can sense the faith and the peace well in each minute every day in Ramadan.

But the one thing that is hurting me is, being all the same, all the people act all the same in this month, “or in life in general”, why we can’t be different!.

Why life shouldn’t be our journey to discover what’s hidden for us only, why we keep shadowing others, watching like others, eating like other, praying like others, enjoying our times just like others, can’t anyone at least be different??

I find myself alone just if I want to spread all my thoughts, no one accepts them, because they aren’t the common ones.

I’m fed up with being different, fed up with having all the people against me and really I’m so fed up of discussing the same things which keep me different over and over again.

Do I have to change myself? act just like others to keep being the same?

Do I have to stick with my own self, I know I’m right at the end?

Nerdy

This time Iam writing with smile .. not as always .. with tears

I have to document this event in every way I can because it’s the VERY first time I feel this way

20-21/8/2008

Two big days … I felt that I was the one in the spotlight .. no one stole my lights in those two days….

When I was a kid .. I used to have a dream about organizing thing … I loved the situation, where I can be that busy , stressed , nervous even angry to make the event accomplished perfectly.

So when this opportunity came true .. it was like making your greatest dreams come true.

The idea it self used to make me trilled when I thought about it … but now after that event .. I feel that Iam more than proud about myself ….

Of course u noticed that I am not talking about the Team which I worked with …. but I think I like to think about the full image without any specific thing .. I mean I feel that all of us were only one person … so I am saying me as saying us.

When you see the full big image , you can know the advantages you got … without all the pain you had ..

because no one hurts himself … so always keep seeing the full image ….

Iknow I’m always pissed when I write .. that’s the reason I write because I don’t feel that there’s real one to hear and feel truly my core…….

I’m LOST … all the things around me feel like liers …

even my dreams lie to me .. they think that they will come true ..but Idon’t think so

the previous things keep telling me “Things will go right”.. well Idon’t believe

Iam not a believer in you anymore Iam fade up ….

My feeling now like lost in an unknown road …

Come and take me away

…………………….

Shadows of the nights, facing the rights.

All of these are killing me.

Come & take me away from this rubbish.

Come & take me my wounds will vanish.

Come & take me all the nightmares will finish.

Come & take me to a world where I can be conscious.

 Come & take me only me Iwana be selfish.

Can’t you hear me …

Is my anger so cold?

Is my aim so far?

Iwana blow the ice.

Iwana break the limits.

Iwana omit the distance.

Iwana……..

Come & take me…….